Advent Blog: Belonging Before Belief

Originally intended for posting 12/7/2015 (again, life...)

In 2005 I started attending the Episcopal Church and was introduced to a number of new ways of thinking about Christianity that I hadn't previously been exposed to.  Some were uncomfortable, including universal salvation and Eucharist for the unbaptized.  Sometimes being challenged to step into the uncomfortable makes us think and change, sometimes it lets us think and remain where we were.

The notion of allowing people to receive the Eucharist is part of a concept of "belonging before belief."  It is rooted in the idea that if someone experiences something profound it is then that they can believe, but they need to feel welcomed before professing belief, and that exclusion isn't welcome.  I admit that I still struggle with Eucharist for the unbaptized.  I believe we are all children of God and that the offer of eternal life with God is there for each of us, even if we don't make an expression of belief before we die (I won't go so far just yet as to say I believe in universal salvation, but I am a lot closer than I was 10 years ago).  Part of my challenge is that I still hold transubstantiation dear and so reverence for the Body of Christ is very important to me.  As such, I want everyone to treat the consecrated host and wine with the same deference and respect I do.  I went through years of Christian formation before I made my first Communion.  I don't think the fancy ceremony and wedding-like outfit are needed to mark the occasion, but I do think that before one receives for the first time it is important to understand the meaning and respectful manners.  Without any "gateway" the opportunity for education is no longer institutionalized or present (even the standard of Baptism doesn't necessitate the training I prefer people to have).  And so I work hard at challenging my own beliefs to support those who are belonging before belief.

A few weeks ago it hit me that the idea of belonging before belief is more universal than Christianity or religion.  I was fully embraced and accepted into Indy Runners and the running communities in Indianapolis long before I considered myself a "real" runner or athlete of any kind.  I was a fat chick with diabetes who happened to start running (slowly) and liked to race.  And in a lot of ways I still am, though somewhere along the line I started to believe and thought of myself as an athlete with diabetes who struggles with obesity.  I had belonged to the running community before I believed a runner.  It may have taken me longer than most people to accept that I was a runner - even after my first marathon I didn't feel legit.  Then I ran my first marathon (had walked the first finish) and felt more legit, but not quite.  53 half marathon finishes and 4 marathon finishes - I guess I am sort of legit.  Even if the haters say that if you are slower than 2:00 for a marathon or 4:00 for a marathon you aren't a "real runner."

I don't want to be a hater in the church and say that someone isn't a "real believer" because they haven't been baptized.  But yet I hold each of the sacraments holy.